Friend, as of now, the Conspiracy Kid

Has taken up residence in your mind.

And if you say I didn’t, well, I did.

And if you say I shouldn’t be enshrined

Here amongst your busy little brain-cells,

Just try then to forget me if you can.

Even if you did, and I rang no bells,

I’d still be up here working on my plan.

Do not be alarmed, my little man-cub,

To use a phrase that dear old Kipling coined –

Hello there, and welcome to my Fan Club.

By reading this, you see, you have just joined.

Now, try to disbelieve what you’ve been told.

I’m sorry. It’s too late. You’ve been enrolled